what now

first post - don't shame me for my lack of blog savvyness, 

I started this journey so long ago, at least 20 years ago.  I was a typical teenager, you know  hearing whispers in the sound of my own voice, seeing flashes of light, MAJOR anxiety attacks were common. Waking up and knowing someone was in my room for sure then opening my eyes and not seeing anyone! HOLY SHIT I am going nuts, i thought to myself...  these were all normal things right? 
I always knew answers to questions instinctively without really researching or knowing about the person or the subject and i never really understood where this knowing came from, however i really thought this was a normal human ability. synchronicity were a constant in my life i remember always being in such amazement BUT again feeling this was very typical for all... 

after reading up on different of subjects in spirituality i realized this was more than an instinct or a typical experience, although i must say i truly believe we can all connect to spirit as we are  a spirit  living a human experience.  i went through denial, fear - oh was fear a HUGE factor at all times, I began to lie about myself and then about everything else so no one can detect this weird weird ability in me...  in hindsight I wish i could have been a lot more accepting and explored  it in depth - BUT this is my journey and i am sticking to it.  

it wasn't until much later that I understood that this was clearly a path i needed to explore both in search for my purpose and my sanity.  I found myself in  a very vulnerable place, single mother, no direction what so ever, scared and with out any one to turn to i started the process of listening and delivering messages... nervous as nervous can be I started approaching people and giving them these messages that felt  almost like they where falling  from the sky  ( disclaimer - i don't recommend doing this if your are just starting out)   

i worked up the nerve and started  "coming out" to friends and some family,  i knew i had so much growing and healing  that was needed on a spiritual lever i continued to figure out ways to forgive myself and accepted myself in full...  the courage didn't come until much later and still i am still a work in progress. I took a leap of faith and decided to take a teacher trainer course about 2 years ago and become a yoga instructor (that journey is a blog post of its own)
 
needless to say that was the beginning of it all for me - i met amazing people and fell into the arms of an amazing mentor who assured me i was not crazy! but also kinda crazy, long story longer, I am here now ready to take on the world but mostly myself
so what now, you say? 

well...  i am going to pursue this with all of my heart,  I am going to love every minute of it and i am going to bring you along for the ride. I am so very ordinary but this extraordinary purpose is taking me on the ride of my life.